So I decided to finally start being healthy, I talked things out with Ash, what wonders communication can do. Here's my list of to do list for summer '09.

Get atleast 2 full time jobs
Get a Car
Study Hard
Complete a series of paintings
See Ian often
Diet
Work out at a gym
No drinking
No Smoking
No Partying
No being lazy

I got off to a good start, been working out the last few days, still trying to find a suitable diet, and I studying harder than ever.

It's weird, I feel happy for once

So Molloy had this event where art collector's and appreciator's came together to support and buy art from some other school, (I'm not entirely sure) over a fancy dinner. Now I know this is not a top of the line art event, but I couldn't help but to look around, I manage to hang around for about a half hour before they threw me out haha. I know it's stupid but everytime I'm at a opening at a gallery or even a student show, I get all giddy because I want that for myself. My work has always been true to me and no one else of course but I want that feeling of being appreciated by strangers who just look at the visual vocabulary I've presented to them and have a conversation with it, that's what I love about today's art, the root languages are pretty much dead, but there are a whole mess of new dialects being formed, and the viewers of today double as translators, spreading the word of a new poetic structure on the scene. I wanted that feeling of accomplishment when a collector buys a work of art for a ridiculous price, but unfortunatley that means I would have to historically relevant, which won't happen, until i'm dead anyway.....

this art thing is confusing, but I think I'm getting closer to getting it, for myself anyway...

I'm having such a crazy week, I think I'm going to stop posting artists you should know blogs for a while, there are too many things going on in my life right now. I have paintings to finish, papers to write, speeches to practice, galleries to see, it's a lot of work. But it's not the work I'm worried about really. Asheley dropped a huge bomb on me yesterday, and I am so confused and thrown off.

Some parts of me feel like I'm overdoing the college thing to keep myself busy and forget my problems in life. On the flip side, it's me doing this that's getting me straight A's. I have one C that brings me down to a 3.7 gpa I don't know things are not working out the way I wanted them to, but hell, if they did it wouldn't be life now would it? I have much thinking to do right now.